Jessica Rules the Universe

JessicarulestheUniverse » Where are the Philippine universities?

Wed, 08 Sep 2010 08:36:29 +0000

Oh. Here. The methodology for the Asian university rankings is explained here.

JessicarulestheUniverse » Like the seven plagues, flash-forwarded

Tue, 07 Sep 2010 17:00:45 +0000

That’s not my foot in the sandal. Sa ‘Yo Lamang. A Star Cinema production directed by Laurice Guillen. Story written by five or six people, screenplay written by four or five. Starring Lorna Tolentino as the seemingly perfect mother, Christopher De Leon as the prodigal father, Bea Alonzo as the angry eldest daughter, Coco Martin [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Cine Europa 13

Tue, 07 Sep 2010 16:49:21 +0000

JessicarulestheUniverse » Ways of seeing

Mon, 06 Sep 2010 18:27:44 +0000

Text message Maricon: Tattoo on the chest of punk tambay: ‘Blind Teror’. Me: He did say blind. * * * * * We like to walk. It clears our heads. We have no place to walk outdoors (indoors we walk round and round the mall). Pedestrians have no rights and there are hardly any sidewalks. [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Literary jewelry

Mon, 06 Sep 2010 16:30:41 +0000

Jeremy May makes jewelry from books. Hundreds of pages are laminated together then given a high-gloss finish. More of his work at Littlefly.

JessicarulestheUniverse » The winners of the Mockingjay contest are. . .

Mon, 06 Sep 2010 06:03:19 +0000

Photo of Easter Island statues by Stephane Guisard, from the NASA Astronomy Picture of the Day archive. larrym1983 shadowplay rani miss_o Congratulations! Winners, you can pick up your prizes at the Customer Service counter at National Bookstore in Power Plant Mall, Makati. This special edition of the Weekly LitWit Challenge was brought to you by [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » The She-Pope

Sun, 05 Sep 2010 19:00:09 +0000

Pope Joan giving birth during a procession; the female pope surrounded by cardinals at right, the newborn child on the ground; at left the procession and a fool standing behind a column mocking the scene; illustration to an unidentified publication. Strasbourg, 1539. From Wikimedia Commons. The story of Pope Joan, the woman who disguised herself [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Pensive

Sun, 05 Sep 2010 17:00:36 +0000

Jake Robrigado Letts is a member of the Philippine rugby team. Here he looks unhappy—not because the national rugby 7′s team lost at the Shanghai Sevens this weekend, that came later, but because I was photographing him. Taken last Wednesday in Noel’s house, with Juan’s camera. Frequently-asked question: Isn’t he a little skinny for a [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Tawa-tawa ka diyan: the anti-dengue herb

Sat, 04 Sep 2010 16:11:43 +0000

My friend’s brother was diagnosed with dengue fever last week. Dengue fever is carried by the Aedes aegypti mosquito which breeds in pools of stagnant water. There’s no cure for dengue, you can only treat the symptoms (recurring fever, rash). The patient was given tea brewed from the leaves of the tawa-tawa (Euphorbia hierta) plant. [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » I needed to hear that.

Sat, 04 Sep 2010 15:41:09 +0000

Now work.

JessicarulestheUniverse » LitWit Challenge 3.5: Game, set, match

Sat, 04 Sep 2010 04:29:15 +0000

This week’s prize: Open by Andre Agassi. As long as we’re glued to the US Open tell me a story, real or fictional, that involves tennis in some way. Tennis as metaphor, tennis love stories, tennis fan fiction, fire away. Maximum 1,000 words, deadline at 11.59 pm on Saturday, 11 September 2010. Time. The Weekly [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Tawa-tawa ka diyan: the anti-dengue herb

Sat, 04 Sep 2010 02:49:01 +0000

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JessicarulestheUniverse » You have 10 hours to write the ending of the Hunger Games.

Fri, 03 Sep 2010 05:51:48 +0000

The Weekly LitWit Challenge: Mockingjay Edition ends at 11.59 pm. What a relief: we have contestants. LitWit Challenge 3.5 goes online tomorrow. Here’s a clue: The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our friends at National Bookstore. The paperback edition of Andre Agassi’s autobiography Open is now available at National Bookstore branches.

JessicarulestheUniverse » It’s Orwell’s world: We’re all in the cast of Big Brother.

Thu, 02 Sep 2010 16:59:10 +0000

The eyes of the world are on the cat-bin lady — and on you too. Mary Bale thought no one would see when she dumped Lola in a trash can. But the Internet found out and got mad. Andrew Leonard in Salon. Obviously the cat-bin lady is not my favorite person, but I don’t like [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Hi, Shanghai

Thu, 02 Sep 2010 16:00:01 +0000

Photo from the PRFU Facebook page On Wednesday I went to the official presentation of the national men’s 7′s rugby team at Murphy’s Bar. PSC Commissioner Chito Loyzaga the former basketball star presented their team jerseys. Matt Cullen is the team coach. Observant readers will note that this is not the exact same team that [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Insanity vs. misery

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 17:23:45 +0000

We were having a post-movie coffee and dessert. There was a party at the next table—cake and champagne, someone was having a birthday. They were foreigners with different accents; we gathered they were based in Manila. Then three of the women at that table got up and went to the bathroom, which could accommodate only [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » And there is great gnashing of teeth as Jacob takes up his light saber

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 16:49:00 +0000

“This time they’ve gone too far!” Din cried. “They’ve turned the Bible into a role-playing game! “Granted, the Bible is full of action, adventure, sorcery and drama, and best of all, it’s in the public domain. That means no licensing fees for a proven brand with historically demonstrated earning power. But methinks this is going [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » “If it’s from Seiko, it must be nude.”

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 16:02:25 +0000

To my great disappointment I find that the new Robert Rodriguez movie Machete starring Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, Don Johnson is not a remake of the Seiko Movie from the 90s in which Cesar Montano plays a wooden Igorot warrior statue who comes to life and turns into the neighborhood [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Here’s some good cheer before you go back to work

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 19:33:41 +0000

After last week, we all need it. L-R: Matt, Oliver, and Ben Saunders Oliver, Matt and Ben Saunders are members of the Philippine men’s rugby team. Their mom is from Pangasinan, their dad is British, they were born in the UK or the US and raised in Australia where they live to this day. They’ve [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » The winner of LitWit Challenge 3.4: I love the movies is. . .

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 15:59:41 +0000

kurokuroko. I wouldn’t have thought that seeing Engkantandang Kangkarot in an SRO movie theatre where he could only catch glimpses of Roderick Paulate’s face from between the heads of the people standing in front of him would trigger a lifelong passion for the movies, but that’s how love is. While many of us are willing [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » D’Expendables: Fun with steroids and botox!

Sun, 29 Aug 2010 22:06:39 +0000

My sister made me watch The Expendables. She did not mention that it was an action-horror movie. Every time there’s a close-up of Stallone or Lundgren: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Cautionary tale about mixing steroids, botox and cosmetic surgery. Or very white people not wearing sunblock in LA. (We’re Stallone’s eyebrows tattooed on?) The Expendables opened in the [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Irony roundup: How the mistake of claiming no mistakes trumps a victory, ergo it is not a mistake.

Sun, 29 Aug 2010 03:50:15 +0000

Miss Philippines Venus Raj has gotten more worldwide notice for the mistake that may have cost her the Miss Universe title than if she had given a perfect answer and won the crown. More attention, in fact, than the contestant who was proclaimed Miss Universe. Perhaps not the kind of attention we would’ve wanted, but [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » How should the Hunger Games end? Write your ideal version of Mockingjay.

Sat, 28 Aug 2010 16:00:20 +0000

Mockingjay, the highly-anticipated final novel in Suzanne Collins’s post-apocalyptic dystopian Young Adult science-fiction trilogy The Hunger Games, is now available at National Bookstores at a special introductory price of P530 (one-third off the regular price). Be among the first to read Mockingjay, for free! If you have read the first two novels in the series, [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Venus is not the Commander-in-Chief; her non-answer had no body count

Fri, 27 Aug 2010 12:23:46 +0000

Where is our explanation? Preferably one that does not point to the misdeeds of the previous government. I do not give my support casually, and I will not withdraw it lightly, but I need an explanation. P.S. As long as you’re apologizing to the whole wide world, what about an apology to your own people? [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Waiting for the Barbarians

Thu, 26 Aug 2010 19:00:35 +0000

Rooftops by Edward Hopper. No reason, I just like this painting. Read this, I guarantee it’s worth it. Waiting for the Barbarians by C.P. Cavafy What are we waiting for, assembled in the forum? The barbarians are due here today. Why isn’t anything happening in the senate? Why do the senators sit there without legislating? [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Fear of a moving bus

Thu, 26 Aug 2010 10:15:32 +0000

I do not take the bus. Buses bring out my natural paranoia. I’m worried that the bus will get mugged. Also, I always fall asleep on the bus and I might miss my stop. Most of all I fear that the perceived lack of discipline among Metro Manila motorists is not so much unruliness and [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » The Silents of the Bands

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 18:22:05 +0000

Assunta Spina (1915) is an operatic tale of love and jealousy set in turn-of-the-century Naples. The 4th International Silent Film Festival will be held this weekend at the Shang Cineplex Cinema 2, Shangri-La Mall in Mandaluyong. Featured are classic silents from Italy, Japan, Spain, and Germany, with musical accompaniment by Filipino bands. Saturday, 28 August [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Martian dessert

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 16:00:45 +0000

Mike brought some Ube Calamay from Bohol. It was so dense and sticky it could not be sliced. Then the utensils got stuck in the calamay. They could not be extricated. This would make a great snack for astronauts in space.

JessicarulestheUniverse » 106. The joy of cheapness: a gynecological drama

Tue, 24 Aug 2010 17:04:14 +0000

Shot in his native Holland and starring Dutch and German actors, the World War II drama The Black Book is supposed to be Paul Verhoeven’s shot at redemption after his infamous Hollywood career, during which he directed such. . .masterpieces as Basic Instinct and Showgirls. (Noel: I don’t agree that he needed redemption after Basic [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Martian dessert

Tue, 24 Aug 2010 16:00:45 +0000

JessicarulestheUniverse » Are we bipolar yet?

Tue, 24 Aug 2010 04:17:05 +0000

Lash year see died in a sipwreck. Dish year see died in a car crass. – Bakla movie joke Addendum from Orosa: Neksh year see will die of emphysheema. Last night the Philippines was riveted by a hostage drama. This morning the Philippines was riveted by the Miss Universe pageant. Are we bipolar yet? And [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » LitWit Challenge 3.4: I love the movies.

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 18:22:24 +0000

All photos from Uro’s Abandoned Movie Houses series. This LitWit Challenge is for people who love the movies. I don’t mean people who view the cinema as a two-hour escape from “real life” or something to do on their downtime, I mean those who regard the movies as extensions of their lives. I’m from the [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Know your neighborhood crazies: Ex-cop hostage takers, ex-satanic cult member taxi drivers, etc

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 09:08:22 +0000

At noon I was sitting in a taxi, effectively held hostage by radio coverage of that hostage-taking incident. According to the breathless radio reporters, a former police officer had taken a busload of tourists hostage. At first the hostages were thought to be Korean; later they were revealed to be from Hong Kong. Apparently the [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » The winner of LitWit Challenge 3.3: Your dramatic emergency exit strategy is…

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 02:40:21 +0000

Nobody. I didn’t care for the (very few) entries—not enough fury. My instructions must’ve been vague. Ah well. We still have that copy of Roberto Bolaño’s 2666 to give away, so stay tuned for LitWit Challenge 3.4, which starts at midnight. Apart from the shot at the prize, your entry to LitWit Challenge 3.4 could [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Today in earrings

Sun, 22 Aug 2010 22:25:41 +0000

Things I didn’t know were available at SM Department Store: Betsey Johnson earrings at 70 percent off. Obviously not these ones, since I’ve bought them, but there’s more in the ladies’ section.

JessicarulestheUniverse » But who’s going to do the dishes?

Sun, 22 Aug 2010 16:30:33 +0000

You can’t buy this yet, it’s still in development. Photo by Amit Zoran in Discovery News. All the fuss about “molecular gastronomy” has somehow failed to address the most basic issue in food preparation and consumption: Who’s going to cook? Despite the relentless Martha Stewartification of society, there are still some of us who cannot [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » While the war over the National Museum rages…

Sun, 22 Aug 2010 10:46:10 +0000

We still haven’t visited the Maitum anthropomorphic jars, created around 110 BC by unknown artisans and used as burial vessels. These jars were discovered at the Ayub cave in Maitum, Saranggani Province. A page from 10,000 Years of Art by Phaidon Books. When at brunch I heard that former National Museum consultant John Silva had [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Events are too stressful; we want a Non-Event.

Sat, 21 Aug 2010 16:30:56 +0000

I was reading this interview a few days ago, and I remembered how much I loved going to screenings of old movies (from a 35mm print, not from a DVD) with friends who also love the movies. On a lazy Saturday we’d have brunch, then catch a black-and-white movie, then have coffee and cake and [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » 27 hours in Cagayan de Oro

Sat, 21 Aug 2010 09:52:04 +0000

Quick trip to Cagayan de Oro for the My City, My SM launch. Indigenous trips performed a ritual dance. Photo by Wayne Lim. Since CDO is an eco-tourism and adventure tourism destination, some of the featured performers rappelled into the venue from the upper floors. Tribal handicrafts were on display, including these soil paintings. The [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » The shot is fantastic, but the hair is perfection.

Sat, 21 Aug 2010 03:36:59 +0000

1. If this is fake, then it IS the ad. 2. Roger looks fabulous. 3. It is an hommage to the Swiss hero William Tell. 4. The Fed actually looks better in a suit than in tennis gear. For him we will suspend our demand that players wear shorter shorts; we’ll allow him to play [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Never mind the shot, look at the hair.

Fri, 20 Aug 2010 14:04:04 +0000

1. If this is fake, then it IS the ad. 2. Roger looks fabulous. Thanks to Jackie for the alert.

JessicarulestheUniverse » Hang your favorite book on the wall

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 16:00:42 +0000

Postertext designs posters using the text of famous books. (via Flavorpill)

JessicarulestheUniverse » Oh great, we’re all gay men.

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 16:00:40 +0000

Origin 8 Media just wrapped principal photography in Lucban, Quezon of its gay horror-comedy project, Patayin Sa Shokot Si Remington. Shokot is directed by Jade Castro from a screenplay by Castro, Michiko Yamamoto, and Raymond Lee. Remington (Mart Escudero) freaks out as a Zombading approaches. Meanwhile, the conservative website christwire.org has published a helpful checklist [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Smash, Crunch, Run

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 03:48:35 +0000

It’s a couple of months late, but here’s video of the Asian Division 2 rugby championship match between the Philippines and India.

JessicarulestheUniverse » Monsters

Tue, 17 Aug 2010 18:22:53 +0000

While writing a column about Italian brunch I remembered that I had an unread copy of The Monster of Florence, so I opened it and promptly ruined a good night’s sleep. Bad idea to start reading a true story about a serial killer who kills couples making out in parked cars—and then cuts out the [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » The convolutions of romance

Mon, 16 Aug 2010 18:42:52 +0000

My search for human characters led me to the late French director Eric Rohmer and his late period movie, Conte d’automne (Autumn Tale). Eric Rohmer movies are very comforting because his people have the same ordinary, largely uneventful lives we do, but the way they analyze their desires and motives makes them more interesting. Watching [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Don’t stand, don’t stand so, don’t stand so close to me

Mon, 16 Aug 2010 16:00:09 +0000

Halfway through The Rehearsal I abandoned the book. I wanted to keep going but it had begun to feel like homework. It’s very impressive, stylish, worthy of the accolades, but I was looking for human beings to feel for. The novel is about a high school sex scandal—a music teacher is discovered to be having [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » LitWit Challenge 3.3: Your dramatic emergency exit strategy

Mon, 16 Aug 2010 00:00:43 +0000

The winner of LitWit Challenge 3.2: Talking Animals is. . .Cacs for the death of a celebrity chef as witnessed by 800 eyes. Congratulations! There were several fine entries in this batch; in the end we picked the funniest. Cacs, you can pick up your prize any time starting today at National Bookstore in Power [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Mat is 9! Today he is the Oracle.

Sun, 15 Aug 2010 16:46:16 +0000

Happy Birthday, Matthias Eomer Octavian Federer-Urban! Look at that beautiful face. Such a sweet cat—he doesn’t mind getting hugged, unlike Koosi and Saffy, who endure it for ten seconds before bringing out the claws. Thanks to his tireless work during his career as neighborhood stud, the cats in the area have gotten bigger and purrtier. [...]

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JessicarulestheUniverse » Racing the moon across the South China Sea

Sat, 14 Aug 2010 16:00:15 +0000

This is a piece about sailing that I wrote for High Profile magazine in March 2009. I also edited the book Chasing Moonlight: My mid-centennial victory by Vince Perez. Green Water, White Lather Vince Perez and Subic Centennial race to victory in the South China Sea By Jessica Zafra When most men turn 50 they [...]

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